In the mail the other day, I received the sanctified Christmas sales bonanza commonly known as the Family Christian Stores catalog. Seeing that I visit my local Family Christian Store only about once a year (and usually only after downing a handful of Dramamine), I thought that I would post some thoughts on its catalog, seeing that it’s a good representation of what passes for Christianity in America 2008.
The subtitle for the catalog is “Share the Wonderfull gift of Christ.” And yes, I should sic Wonderfull. But opting for full is to be expected, because being full of stuff pretty much typifies American culture. Any closet in any home in the country will be packed with the fullness of our excess, to which we must add more baubles and bells from Christian stores, right? I mean, isn’t that the true reason for the season?
Catalog page 4 pictures several highly ornate gold filagree crosses that go several levels deeper in artistry than the one on which Christ hung. But blood-drenched wood has a tendency to splinter, and no one wants to get an owie from something like that hanging around her neck.
Page 5 features The Princess Bible in lavender leatherflex. The number of oxymorons runs so high in such an item that any additional satire or sarcasm from moi would spoil the purity of the moment. All I can add is that I’ve yet to see a princess carrying a cross.
If you want all the cuss words, violence, and raw nakedness excised from your Hollywood movies, page 6 features a DVD player that includes an electronic censor that outperforms Dana Carvey’s Church Lady in moral outrage. Curiously enough, it manages to cut Schindler’s List down to about seventeen minutes. Meanwhile, it gives a free pass to The Omega Code.
You get your inspirational coffee mugs on page 8 inscribed with Isaiah 40:31 and Proverbs 3:5-6. Odd choices for phylacteries, but it’s 2008, and most hip churches feature free trade coffee nowadays…
Pages 9-12 give us the nativity sets.
I have a hard time with the nativity sets. They’re all made in China, you know. Some young mom in China works seven days a week and sleeps in the factory making images of the Savior for people like us. Does she know what she’s making? When she’s done with her dreary shift, does she resent the Christ child she made? And what of the holy family when the line changes over to making Bratz dolls a month later?
I can think of nothing sadder that to spend one’s days making images of the birth of the Savior, yet never coming to understand the truth behind what is being made.
And what does that young mom think about when she makes a plaque that reads “Jesus is the reason for the season” with a kneeling Santa seemingly praying to a baby lying in a cattle feed trough? Sure, she can’t read the text, but what does that image mean to her?
I can tell you that most Christians in the United States don’t spend five seconds thinking about these things as they do their Christian shopping.
On page 13, we find “The Lord is My Light” bath and body set. And I thought Jesus did away with ceremonial bathing rituals. Silly me.
We get a sword of the Spirit letter opener on page 15 inscribed with Hebrews 4:12. No claims that the churches that received Paul’s letters used a similar device to open them, but you never know. The same page offers “Fruit of the Spirit” ties. I guess if you can’t actually manifest the fruits in your life, you can at least wear a tie that gives you the appearance of being spiritually mature.
A “True Love Waits” ring can be found on page 16. I guess some people think that a $25 sterling silver ring will guarantee a kid’s purity in case God Himself isn’t sufficient to protect and keep. I guess.
I’ll skip the hoodies on page 17 and move onto the big sale items on 18 and 19, including many nativities (I suppose they’re not big sellers) and votive candles lit with LEDs. There’s something about fake votive candles that says just about everything that needs to be said here…
…well, until you get to the Thomas Kinkade Painter of Light calendars and puzzles on page 21.
Page 22 gives every Proverbs 31 woman what she really needs: a daily planner. Because nothing helps a modern woman aspire to being a Martha more than a planner to hold all her busy activities.
The Bibles arrive on page 23, including a hip audio Bible voiced by High School Musical and Hannah Montana actors, along with some “winner of American Idol,” none of whom I’ve heard of before.
I don’t know what it is about Pentecostals, but they seem to love The Amplified Version of the Bible. So it comes as no surprise that Joyce Meyer, who along with Max Lucado must keep Family Christian Stores in the black, has a Bible. Amplified, of course. I consider the Amplified to be like a multiple choice Bible, where you can pick and choose your best translation and just go with it.
They also have Compact Thinline Bibles. I mean, talk about encouraging eating disorders!
Loving that Manga Bible on page 26. I hear that they used the girls from Sailor Moon for the women at the tomb. Added Easter Egg: If you look closely at the Last Supper, the Apostle John, the one laying his head on Jesus’ chest, is actually Akira.
Page 27 models several Bible covers to “carry your Bible in style.” As we know, no sensible martyr would be caught dead burning at the stake without a stylin’ Bible cover. I also like the red box on the page that says “We match any competitor’s price,” as if Sam Walton’s kids are all over that competitive Bible cover market.
I wonder if Wayne Grudem and Alistair McGrath shop at Family Christian Stores. Otherwise, I have no idea why the retailer would sell Scholar’s Library Logos Bible Software 3.0, on page 28.
Page 29 has the words “create a joyfull heart”—sic, again—at the top, with offers for pureNRG CDs right below, because nothing says joyful like kids singing what amounts to millennial versions of old disco songs.
I’ll skip over the Narnia stuff (poor, poor C. S. Lewis) to get to page 31, which features a heading reading “make faithfull fun” (sic) and Guitar Praise Solid Rock, the sanctified version of Guitar Hero, a must for budding worship leaders. I have to wonder, just how “faithfull” are you when you’re ripping off the world’s stuff in pursuit of “fun”?
Pages 32-33: VeggieTales.
We get kids’ Christmas books on page 34, including one that actually looks good, Fear Not, Joseph!, about the view from the eyes of Jesus’ earthly father. Joseph gets short shrift this time of year. Normally, he’s depicted as kind of a concerned dad standing off to one side of the nativity scene. I really hope the book is good. Really, I do.
Then again, maybe I have the wrong idea of Joseph. He’s depicted as an action figure on page 35.
Page 36 gives us kids’ movies with computer graphics lagging 15 years behind Pixar. Seriously, why is it that so much of what Christians output today is just so lame? Didn’t we use to drive the arts? How then did we end up aping the world, and poorly at that?
Faith dolls on page 37: Bratz with 99 percent less sluttiness. A question: If your daughter has both a faith doll and a Bratz doll, does the faith doll ever try to evangelize the Bratz doll? Could the faith doll convince the Bratz doll to wear a True Love Waits ring? A better question: Will someone ever make a bad computer-graphics-driven movie of that encounter?
Bibleman, page 38. Considering these titles are new and Willie Aames must be in his 50s by now, I’m guessing someone else is starring in these. I’m also guessing there’s a good chance that whoever he is, he was once a New Mouseketeer.
The same page gives us the God’s Little Princess Devotional Bible by Sheila Walsh. From Triumph in the Air to The 700 Club to the God’s Little Princess Devotional Bible. Yep, I’d say that’s a natural progression.
Page 39 has the Christianized versions of popular board games, including Guesstures: Bible Edition. I can see it now: The sin of Onan. The mauling of the children who mocked Elisha. David cutting the foreskins off his Philistine enemies. And the stoning of Stephen. The possibilities are endless.
We finally get to music on page 40. Of course, no Christmas would be complete without something from Michael W. Smith. I don’t know how Smith suddenly vaulted to the front of the worship music craze, but there he is. He’s not a great singer, plus he plays piano, which kind of limits a worship leader’s ability to move around onstage. I guess it’s the boyish good looks. His wife is a grad of Wheaton, and she and Michael were in the cafeteria one day during homecoming. Michael was mobbed by girls young enough to be his daughters (if that scene were repeated today, substitute the word granddaughters), but I guess the girls didn’t care that he was more dadly than anything else—it’s the boyish good looks. I hope and pray that boyish good looks aren’t the primary reason for choosing a worship leader nowadays, but you never know.
If you loved the movie Fireproof, then your page is 45. Plenty of other really average movies follow on pages 46-47, none of those movies being the above-average Amazing Grace, the tale of William Wilberforce that died at the box office.
You can buy Ben Stein’s Expelled on page 47. The cover is a sham, though: I have it on good authority that they simply Photoshopped Stein’s head onto Angus Young’s body. (Bonus points for all you paleorockers who get that reference.)
Heavens, are we done yet? Please?
On page 48, you can pre-buy Ted Dekker’s latest thriller, which I have heard is not in any way an erotic, vampire tale, even if the title is Kiss. I hear that erotic, vampire tales are still a tough sell in Family Christian Stores. Give it another five years, though.
Page 50 gives us the biggest two words in this entire catalog: The Shaq. I mean that other The Shack. You know, the bestseller, not the increasing elderly basketball great. Though, when you get right down to it, they probably do share a lot in common as neither is considered a great source for doctrinally pure theology.
Looks like women’s books on page 51, though no evidence of yet another tome in the bestselling Bad Girls of the Bible series.
There on page 52 we get a book with the word Armageddon in the title. Because what year is complete without some bookshelf in some Christian bookstore holding an apocalyptic title. Or something by Max Lucado. Now if only someone can convince Lucado to write about Armageddon…
Page 53 features a fire sale of all the publishing mistakes of the last two years. (Please, John MacArthur fans, don’t hate me.)
You get VBS supplies on page 54, plus a coupon just in case you need some incentive to raise up the next generation in the fear of the Lord. All the logos of the VBS offerings feature font choices that scream “fun” and “hyperactive” and maybe even “hyperactive fun.” Thank goodness none of those fonts are Comic Sans. Maybe Christians are developing some taste in the arts after all.
And page 55 gives us gift cards. Nothing says I love you like plastic money.
And last, but not least, the back page gives us coupons. Lots of coupons. Use them all, please. As quickly as possible. Like now. Stop reading this blog’s drivel and go buy yourself some Christianity.
That young mom in China will thank you.
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67 Comments
Dan, you always have a way of showing us just how vapid and of the world we are. I wholeheartedly agree with you about the state of Christian art. We cannot keep taking the ideas of the world, putting a Christian spin on it, and pass it off as being original. I have a 2 year old daughter, and I can’t really find anything that she can watch that is original in any way. Why have we fallen so low?
Jason,
Try exposing your children to older things that aren’t so chintzy. I wish more kids appreciated classical music, for instance.
Wow your a total ASS, to take cheap shots at merchandise that reminds people about their God. Would you RATHER have American Christians spend their money on stupid secular items. or worse movies, porn and strip bars?Don`t need puruty rings? Not everyone wlks on water like you do! Stop bashing Family Christian , Micheal W. Smith or any or minisrty that they are affiliated with. Does you have a clue how much MWS and Family James fund does for orphans, because of the “business” of their stores. Your an ass with wat too much time on his hands and poor representive of the body of Christ, I stand here to CORRECT you ,”brother!” Maybe you been fired from FCS ? Sounds like you have a axe to grind my friend.
I agree. It must be a sad dan err day on earth that dwells upon toys and crosses that remind us of our Christian heritage. I would rather have Christians spend money on a plastic menorah(to remind them of Christ’s heritage) or a plastic singing nativity set for their 2 yr old to play with. Far be it that they choose videos to play or whatever. I figure it is not my final judgement that counts. Max Lucado and his little crippled lamb story does help children see the reality of Christ being born for our sins. Sometimes the deconstruction of items helps us see our insecurities and our negativities. Sometimes deconstruction takes away some of the good with the bad. I was sad to read this review of this store. I don’t agree with all of the items sold in the store, but then I don’t know what helps fill a person’s life with the idea of being proud to be Christian, and living a life with some Christian items in their home and office.
Awesome post. I was just happy you didn’t lambaste the VeggieTales. I don’t think my heart could withstand an assault on the writers of such spiritual classics as The Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything and I Don’t Got No Belly Button! And who can forget the first time they saw the love of Christ light up in their child’s eyes when they finally dissected the complex allegories of “His Cheeseburger”?
God bless man, and keep up the good work.
The cheeseburger song is so sad. I can’t believe he runs off and eats at Denny’s and still claims that she’s his cheeseburger!
Dan, your post brought a smile to my face. Thank you. I get dismayed at all of the ‘stuff’ that you can find in Christan ‘book’ stores but you really highlight how worldly it all is.
Peter,
Wordly is one thing. It’s the cheesiness of so much of what you find in those stores that gets me. I used to work in Christian bookstores, and it sure didn’t seem as cheesy/trendy/hip then as it does now.
I can’t separate worldly and cheesy.
If you think about what we NEED to spend money on then most of the cheesy stuff is just unnecessary stuff to fill our houses and deplete our bank balances.
Buying all that stuff really seems pretty worldly to me!
Chris,
To this day, I am mystified by VeggieTales. I never really found them all that funny, even when I tried to think like a kid. And my son’s not really into them that much, either.
I’d laugh if it wasn’t all true. Still, little can beat the Japanese Christmas decoration of Santa on a cross….. or can it?
Jon,
Please tell me you’re kidding about the crucified Santa.
http://www.snopes.com/holidays/christmas/cross.asp
Sarah,
Intriguing.
At least they sell books about or written by charismatics. That’s more than the other major Christian bookstore will do. Just trying to see the glass half-full today. :>)
Beth,
If only the books by charismatics that they sold were good! Or is that too much of a glass half-empty statement?
Really, the last time I was in the store I couldn’t find a single “Charismatic Interest” book I would read, much less buy. What have you found there of worth?
Dan, thanks for wading through that so I don’t have to!
Truly depressing. Maybe one of these days we can get a ‘Warning: Rated R for mindless consumerism’ sticker attached to some of this junk…
Trevor,
The attaching of Scripture to every bauble is what bugs me. Why cheapen the word of God?
Hey Scrooge! What are you trying to do, ruin our Christmas?
It seems we’ve gone from shaping the culture, past copying the culture, and right to being more empty and inane than the culture. And we wonder why people aren’t knocking down the doors to get into our churches.
I want to be more the “God bless us, everyone” guy, Fred, than the “Bah, humbug!” guy.
Yeah Dan Edelen is a MR. Disaster!! He must be an member of an LDS church, and a American right wing terriorist. And we wonder why americans hate Christians! With stupidity like this rubbish that he writes and promotes we might as well open the flood gates to Islam, because your distroying America.
WOW! i am out of breath….
I don’t remember reading a blog post that was both as funny and heart-breakingly sad as that one.
Funny:
“includes an electronic censor that outperforms Dana Carvey’s Church Lady in moral outrage”
“They also have Compact Thinline Bibles. I mean, talk about encouraging eating disorders!”
and sad,
the chinese workers (maybe they are underground disciples and rejoice in their job)
“Because nothing helps a modern woman aspire to being a Martha more than a planner to hold all her busy activities.”
pretty much the whole thing.
Thank you so much for taking the time to do it (of course, i can tell you had a little fun, right?)
Brian,
I’d be laughing too if it didn’t all have eternal consequences.
I loved it! But like Brian it made me laugh and cry at the same time.
I suppose it’s what most are looking for or these stores wouldn’t sell it. They do have a market so they just keep filling the public’s request for more and more junk.
Jerald,
I don’t care if a Christian store needs to sell not particularly essential items. I just wish they weren’t so cheesy and so calculatingly aimed to use the Bible and spirituality to sell things.
Do you complain about about all the stuff Walmart sells too?
Great post!
Years ago I worked for a month in a Christmas store. My heart broke one day when my job was to take the made in China stickers off of the bottom of a teddy bear, Mary-Jesus-Joseph, nativity set. I quit my job over that task. My Saviour is not a teddy bear. If we can’t free preach about Jesus in China we shouldn’t be making him in trinket form there. The thought of the exploitation depressed me as well. Since that month of selling my soul I’ve been so jaded by Christian, and especially Christmas, crap.
One dissenting comment, though. You mentioned the trendiness of fair trade coffee (free trade is very different btw). While band wagon jumping is foolish I do think this is a good trend. In this very small way some Christians are starting to consider the fallout of their spending habits and are doing something to change that. I must say though that if those coffee mugs are made in China and are filled with fair trade coffee then it proves to me that the fair trade movement is simply for appearances. At least the coffee growers are helped by this form of hypocrisy.
Rose,
I’m not against fair trade coffee. I get frustrated when good intentions become trendiness and a badge of superiority.
I agree with you on that. I see this all the time in the Christian health/organic food niche market.
Rose,
I find it disheartening that if you compare marketing spiels in that market that the Christian message and the Wiccan/Pagan message are often interchangeable at their cores, except that the Christian side uses Scriptural justifications. When you can’t separate the cores, that’s bad.
The insanity of Jesus junk blows my mind. Your thread, Dan, was the best commentary on the subject I’ve ever seen.
There’s so much more you could comment on, from the books by nutritional and health “experts” to the ubiquity of Beth Moore products.
I am trying to be more constructive in my criticism, but this is a time when it’s best for me to shut up, because this stuff just begs to be ripped apart by sarcasm
BrianD,
Thanks.
I wavered whether to write this post or not. I don’t like sarcasm as much as I used to, especially when it comes out of me. I’m all to susceptible to it, and sarcasm harbors a “holier than thou” attitude very much like that of pharisee praying that he’s glad that he’s not like that sinner over there.
So…we shouldn’t buy jewelry, like crosses and promise rings. I guess you and your wife shouldn’t be wearing wedding rings, either, Dan? We shouldn’t let our kids imagine themselves princes and princesses, although we are spiritual royalty. I think the DVD censor is kind of dumb. Coffee mugs are one of the worst gifts. Walk into any thrift store. You’ll see plenty.
Chinese nativity sets: My younger brother gave me a “Jesus Saves” coin bank, with Jesus kneeling in Gethsamene. (My brother is an atheist.) I wondered what the Chinese factory worker thought of this Jesus fellow, and what does He save, besides money? Then the owner of the gag gift shop where it was bought, the owner’s husband, and their two children were bound, gagged, their throats slit, and their house burned down over them after the New Year. So, yeah, I keep that little piece of kitsch around for several reasons.
My pastor has a ceramic statue set of Santa kneeling before Jesus. I thought it was one of the coolest Christmas sets ever. I wanted one and found a wind-up musical version in a thrift store. Thanks for making my whimsical representation of materialism bowing before the manger sound dumb, Dan.
Ha, ha. I guess women who want to relax with special soaps and bath oils after a hard day taking care of children and God only knows what else should just take a five minute cold shower instead.
Hmmm…I thought many scrolls in ancient times were sealed with wax and the wax stamped with a seal. I think even the Prodigal Son got one of those rings. We don’t do that anymore. Too showy. Too upper crust. Maybe the Seven Seals are too gaudy, too?
I had a friend, an African immigrant, who went to a job interview with a tie on that showed the books of the Bible. The first thing the man who interviewed him did was almost jump out of his chair, point at the tie, and exclaim, “I like that tie! I like that tie!!!” My friend got the job. It’s too bad he wasn’t wearing one of those no nonsense, solid-colored, or even paisley ties, I guess.
I like votive candles, though I never use any. LED votive candles? Yeah, kind of dumb.
Let’s hear it for all of those Kinkade art lovers out there. They don’t love art at all. They should be buying insanely expensive Rembrandt prints (since I haven’t seen the latest Rembrandt calendar yet), but I guess all they can afford with their Social Security payments is a laser light show in oils.
Just asking: Is Thomas Kinkade the Max Lucado of painting?
“Her children arise up, and call her [Martha]; her husband also, and he [telleth her to sit at Christ's feet instead]” (Proverbs 31:28 Dan’s Version). Yeah, I guess a woman who buys land, sews, takes care of her children and the poor, etc., can keep her schedule in her head.
A Bible voiced by popular young celebrities? We don’t want those kind of people reading the Bible to our children, do we? We don’t want our children to actually be interested in the Bible, do we ?
Yeah, people shouldn’t read the Amplified Bible. They should have a library filled with concordances, lexicons, and commentaries. They should spend $100,000 on a seminary education.
But people shouldn’t carry Bibles in their pockets, either. They need to lug around large ones, but not in a pharasaical way, and not in any kind of handy carrying case. And you wouldn’t want to buy anything price-matched with Wal-Mart. You just know the higher prices in the Christian bookstore match reality.
Hey, I have a manga Gospel of Luke in Japanese that is so well-done, I can tell which part of Luke is pictured, even though I cannot read the words. My missionary friend in Japan said Japanese youth who would never read a Bible would read Gospel manga cover to cover. I guess you wouldn’t have any of that, Dan. Good luck finding that battle ball or whatever it was for your son.
Wayne who?
Yeah, my mom got my nephew the “Praise Baby” DVD. I so looked forward to singing praise songs to my nephew along to the tunes on the DVD rather than making him crack up when I laugh like Pee Wee Herman. Ha, ha. Man, I’m such a sucker, right, Dan?
Yeah, poor C.S. Lewis. I wonder how popular Narnia would have been if Aslan had been a lamb.
Guitar Praise. It’s too bad Christians can’t think of inventing plug-in guitar controllers for playing Christian music before the world invents it to play worldly rock. Oh, yeah. Christians are taught not to waste their time on video games. They do, anyway.
Veggie Tales! The greatest Gospel cartoon series that never actually preaches the Gospel!
What? You saw something that you think might be good??? Let me go out and buy that right away!!!
Yeah, most Christian animation is pretty lame, not like that Veggie Tales stuff. I guess more Christians might get into this trade if fewer Christians would trash almost anything creative that Christians do. Hint, hint, Dan.
Ha, ha. Nice one about the dolls, Dan. That’s how you can give any little girl a complex: Even if she dresses right and modestly, criticize her for not preaching the Gospel. Just like if she dresses up as a little princess, she is not bearing the cross.
Bibleman. Ugh.
Triumph in the Air? What’s that?
Yeah, I guess bloodless war in chess and crushing all competition in Monopoly are better pursuits than Trivial Pursuit: Bible. Sorry!, no repentance here.
Michael W. Smith “suddenly vaulted”? The dude’s been around forevah. Ha, ha. Yeah, an older man being swamped by young girls. I guess he’s just another celebrity playboy. Quick, get that fat guy (you know, the average pastor) who may die before his time by food-induced diabetes and heart disease up on stage. He’s a better example of the lifestyle our young people should live.
I don’t like a lot of stuff in Christian bookstores, either, Dan. But I do appreciate the creativity that much of this kitsch represents. I write Christian love sonnets. I’ve been lambasted over the years by other believers for writing too much of the Bible into my poems; writing too much about love; being too emotional; being too open. I’d never be a poet if I listened to critics. I’d never be a Christian if I wanted the praise of men. I really wonder about the Church when a girl who felt she was called by God to go to Germany as a missionary, who had gone to church for years, could not identity a clear allusion to the parable of the talents in one of my poems.
If Thomas Kinkade asked to paint one of my sonnets; if Lucado or Dekker or one of those movie guys wanted to include one in their work; if Michael W. Smith wanted to adapt one into a song, I would not say “No”. I’d be pretty happy. But at least I’d know what guys like you would think about such a collaboration.
Michael.
I am not against buying things; however, I loathe it when
- Scripture is used to “sanctify” items for sale
- Christianity must be depicted as culturally hip
- “Christian” items are produced, packaged, or marketed in a way that goes against the spirit of the Gospel
- Items sold to the Christian “market” are rip-offs of their secular counterparts or, worse, are inferior to secular offerings
I think your comments about the items sold @ christian book stores is in direct agreement with bthe passage of scripture were the desciple critisized people for preaching for monitary gain but they were told not to discorage this practice because it would prevent the gospel from being preached. I would encourage you to pray for these industries and even offer them positive advise. But dont discourage them because it is not about you and how you feel. Its all about God . And if He chooses and seemingly strange way to get HIS word out. Who are we to prevent that. Besides I cant find some of the wounderful ministry helps at secular store..God Bless.
Thank you, Rick. I originally planned to comment on Dan’s snarkiness. That is, until reading Michael’s equally sarcastic rebuke with which I concur, or rather, about 75% of it. However, I believe the maturity level of your comment is the most eloquent on this entire thread. There are opinions that can be revealed while still taking the high road – and sharing yours has convicted me right out of my initial intent of jumping into the juvenile debate. We all need to stop looking horizontally and focus vertically. We can’t see Jesus with all these planks in our eyes. The game’s almost over folks. We need to REACH people, not segregate/lambaste/derail them. Showing them their need, planting seeds, and basically awakening them by any means necessary to then point them to solid Biblical truths in which they can learn and grow in Truth and Love. IMHO, there’s not a whole lot of grace in the original post. , “Preach the gospel at all times. And when necessary, use words.” – St. Francis of Assissi
The problem isn’t this stuff in general; it’s the fact that this is all Christianity is for the average Christian in America anymore. There is nothing more disgraceful and embarassing to us all than someone walking around with their WWJD bracelet proudly displayed, blinged out in a hyper-stylized cross, wearing their purity ring, etc…and yet not being able to even explain the basic points of the Gospel when challenged. This is why people like Bill Mahr can make a living mocking us. Just my .02. God bless.
Chris,
You’ll get no arguments from me on your insights.
Forgot to note:
My comments on Michael W. Smith have more to do with his being marketed as a worship leader. I like Smith. His The Big Picture album is one of my favorites. I think he’s a talented songwriter (though it’s actually his wife who wrote many of his best songs) and a genuine person. (The poor guy was trying to eat his lunch in the cafeteria and was mobbed by the students, when I stepped in with a few of my friends and tried to break up the crowd so he could eat his meal in peace. It kind of got me that no one standing there was thinking that maybe Smith wanted to be with his family and not spend his lunch signing autographs. Call me a killjoy, I guess.)
Triumph in the Air is one of Sheila Walsh’s best albums, and one of the best Christian albums of the ’80s. That’s why I find the God’s Princess Devotional Bible so cloying and disappointing.
Thanks for clearing up the mess of fishy statements by Dan above. I love your response. Keep up the great thinking. I sort of think the same way. I even LOVE the Veggie Tales book: Amazing Bible Facts “Bible Mania” about things that happen in Veggie Tale stories that are directly related to Bible facts. It is a fun book to share with nieces and nephews and for my son to read. SOmetimes its fun to learn something new in a new and original way…based on the Bible.
Anything to get Bible stories into the heads of children who can learn from them throughout life as they play and interact with others who learn to know God’s love. Children learn through play. And it is nice to have Christian play toys to base our imaginative play on…even the far fetched Veggies have a role in Christ’s “love to tell the story…of Unseen things above.”
Dan-
Yeah, a rant feels nice every once in a while, but it profits us nothing.
Yeah, you’re right.
That’s why I should read fewer Christian blogs. Nyuk, nyuk, nyuk.
David,
I don’t think it profits us nothing. The prophets themselves often told people to stop doing the ill-advised things they were doing. I think it is good for us to reflect on our consumerism and the way we cheapen the Faith by turning it into a commodity.
Dan are you losing your Cerulean mind?
I totally enjoyed your digs at the catalog, what fun.
I’m glad you are not too busy to have a little fun poking fun at all of us. We actually buy this stuff.
Happy Holidays, I mean, Merry Christmas Dan!
Bruce
I’m off to have a thirty dollar lunch with a “Christian Worship Leader” who is $40,000 beholden to his credit card. I tried to get him to go to Taco Bueno for one dollar fare, but he insists. I kid you not!
Debt Free and wondering…. what am I gonna do with all this money?
Bruce,
As to that worship leader, perhaps hope of a pretribulation rapture explains why so many Christians live like there is no tomorrow in everything except their personal devotion to the will of the Lord.
Dan,
Pretrib Rapture, how funny, I’m nearly splitting a gut here!
Well, I did the taco bueno lunch, early, hey who eats lunch after 1PM anyway? You see Taco Bueno has this little survey, you complete online or 1 800 either way. You get a free beef taco or bean burrito. Plus they have this giant condiment bar: onions and tomatos, onions and cilantro, jalapeno slices, two kinds of salsa, lemon wedges. I always have the bean burrito and water on days I go alone.
Today, just for a change of pace I did the beef taco, planning on having chips when I go to El Chiquitos later with the worship guy. Well, I’m having lunch which was one free taco, and all the condiments you care to stuff on the plate, and water, which is also free. I call it my Ross Perot lunch, I think that guy has change from the first dollar he ever made.
So, just as I’m being seated I see Maggie. Now Maggie is wonderful, a volunteer with the local Crisis Pregnancy Center one of the two main gals down there. Never have I ever donated anything to them, today was the day. I grabbed my wallet out, took thirty bucks over, greeted Maggie (salt of the earth) and asked how Joe was doing. He’s much better. Hey could you turn in this donation for me at the Center. Sure she says. I go back to my taco and it was delicious.
Later, I’m sitting in in El Chiquita awaiting the worship leader guy, having already decided on seperate checks. I welched though and had the two beef Burrito plate and water. My friend had the Burrito Fajita el Cameroon, which is a fancy way to say a Huge Shrimp Burrito, oh and his two customary Coca colas and large water.
My tab was 5.58 and a one dollar tip. My friend, 11.58 and a two dollar tip. The education has begun.
For conversation we discussed the ramifications of a church becoming a 501 c3, of course he didn’t have a clue whether our church was one or not. It is.
Okay Dan, you poked fun at our American Christmas for Christians. I’m doing the same at myself and my friend who is a generation behind me. Okay God, where to now? Work, what’s that?
Bruce
Thanks for the post. Maybe it doesn’t profit anything, but maybe it does because it did me good to know that I’m not the only Christian in America that finds these Christian stores disturbing. We buy things made in countries where workers are often no more than slave labor so that we can feel more spiritual. What must they think of us? We try so darn hard to fit our Christianity into the culture, because God knows the worst thing in the world is to be seen as “uncool”. Except that we are always 10 steps behind the latest trends, and end up looking silly and lame. I’m not sure why so many think that if we could just make Christ and his message seem really way cool and awesome, people would come in droves and then we’d all be one in our coolness.
Dan,
Which “manga Bible” was in the catalog? Is it the NLT on their site, one of the graphic novels edited by Bud Rogers (I kinda know the guy, actually), The Manga Bible: From Genesis to Revelation by Siku (oe-time Judge Dredd illustrator), or the first volume of Mecha Manga Bible Heroes (written and illustrated by a bunch of my “Christian Comics” buddies, one of whom did some Disney comics work for me at Gemstone)?
I’m telling you, Dan: the manga Bible market is just exploding! You’ve got to be more specific!
The manga Gospel of Luke my friend gave me from Japan renders the entire Gospel into a graphic novel. It does not jazz it up, like the other manga Gospel things I have seen. I wish an American ministry would do something like that! Do you know if anyone has? I have seen The Manga Bible.
Travis,
It’s just The Manga Bible as listed. It’s the one with the cover that has Jesus doing what looks to be a Kamehameha Wave on Satan.
Honestly, I have nothing against manga (Bob, are you reading this?), but I’m fairly sure that some exec at the publisher said, “This manga thing is hot, we’ve gotta get manga product out there,” and that’s how it came to be. That “jump on the bandwagon” mentality in the Western Church really galls me.
Here is a description of my conflict: I just saw a commercial running during Fox News for the Lord’s Prayer Cross, made from Austrian crystal and sterling silver. Holding the crystal up to the light reveals the Lord’s prayer.
On the one hand, yes, this kind of commercialization disgusts me. I think the actual commercial might make you physically ill, Dan. On the other hand, if holding the crystal up to the light actually does work as advertised…man, that’s pretty neat!
my point exactly. If just one soul is brought into the Kingdom by such a unexpected manner …..great! Sell your little crystals…..
You had me at ‘princess bible’.
We got our Christian Discount Books catalog last week, and I was dismayed by how everything is offered as being of equal value — self-help books alongside theology classics, Joyce Meyers next to John McArthur (read ‘a charismatic next to a critic of charismatics’). Back in the day, when my dad ran a Zondervan store (precursor to Family Book Stores) he was allowed to exercise discernment. Then, when he took to the road for Baker Book House, he was allowed to steer his customers away from books he knew they would find objectionable theologically. Now it’s as though no one has a clue. Nothing means anything anymore. It’s all good! I was delighted to see your post.
the truth means everything to me but where are truth seeking believers suppose to go? all we have in my little town is family and secular outlets…..
I’m little late on commenting on this post, but I will anyway. I loved it. I understand what you are saying and believe if Jesus walked into one of these stores, He would have a “money-changers” moment. “Jesus entered the temple area and drove out all who were buying and selling there. He overturned the tables of the money changers and the benches of those selling doves.” Matthew 21:12. He might spare them because they are not in the temple, but it is the same idea.
You are kidding yourself if you think a coffee mug or Lord’s prayer cross has led anyone to repent for their sins, accept Jesus as the Son of God who paid the price for our sin and rose again to bring us eternal life. Really some of you believe that? All it does is make us feel better about the fact that WE are not out there spreading the Gospel as Christ told us to.
Listen, I’m all for Christain music, art, books (hey, I even have a Christain t-shirt) as long as they betray the truth AND they are not fleecing the flock of their money. I have no problem when a fair price is listed, but I do have problem with someone getting rich off the church. You have to research and learn about what you are purchasing. Is it in accordance with the Word? Did you have to use your credit card to purchase it, because you do not have the money? “The rich rules over the poor, and the borrower becomes the lender’s slave” (Proverbs 22:7)
Okay enough of my rant. Merry Christmas and God Bless.
HA! this is soooo Hilarious, I actually work at a Family Christian Store so its funny to read this. Some of the things you said we joke about.
I totally Agree with Cheryl about the verse from the Bible, but us as employees have very christian good intentions, you need to talk to about our CORPORATE OFFICE about the verse. Because also, i had to work every single sunday for like 6 months.
I have worked at FCS for 2 years now. I’ve read all the posts here. Yes, there are some lame gift items. But you are missing the important part about any/all Christian retailers… why they are there, and to what degree they are influencing new/old Christians. About 18 months ago, we had a section (so we know where to file things) labeled ECGN. We match up the code on the price tag with the shelf code, and we arrange the books alphabetically within that catagory/section. NO ONE was given an explanation of what materials are in the ECGN section. GN means general, such as all-no specific books belonging to that section. EC however means Emerging Church. (Don’t know what this heresy is, look it up). The separate catagory stayed there, right next to Discipleship/Evangelism, Pastoral Helps and Prophecy, for about a year or so. Now, corporate has disbanned the ECGN section – all these books have been put into CLGN – Christian Living General – right next to books by Charles Stanley, John MacArthur, CS Lewis, and Chuck Swindoll to name a few. When a ‘guest’ comes in to our store, they should have a reasonable expectation not to need e a PhD in discernment of being able to judge heresy by it’s cover (you can’t). A Christian bookstore should be a safe haven for ALL Christians, well versed or new believer. Instead, it’s like walking through a mine field. Any time a Christian retailer sell items that are clearly contrary to scriptural truths, they are putting their stamp of approval on them. And of course, we are not allowed to educate customers of this heresy – they are on their own. Is that serving our Christian brothers/sisters in Christ (not to mention the seekers)?And we wonder why so many Christian book stores go out of business… ask yourself why God would bless a company who knowingly sells heresy – because they are some of the most popular authors/books/dvds today. They are playing God – thinking that if they don’t sell these books that so many misled Christians are seeking, that the company will go broke. However, I truly believed that if the company took a stand for Biblical truth God would indeed reward us and let us keep our doors open. But they are not letting God be God – the lack of faith is evident as we sell heresy to stay in business.In closing, there is a lot of great things about the company and the stores. The company does & supports huge charity works. We help people have access to the Word of God, and Biblical books, studies, DVDs and supplies. And we also wait on some of the most vile and hateful people in retail (especially around Christmas) – those who say their Christians yet there behaviors are anything but. We also helps wonderful people looking to grow in their faith. So, what’s the answer? STOP griping – DO something! Write the company president about your observations and concerns – be specific & respectful. We need to band together (Don’t bother the store manager however, store level managers have no authority over purchasing – that’s ALL corporate). Myself, I am nausiated to sell some of the things we do, and I do voice my concerns. Eventually, if I don’t see a change, God has convicted me I will need to resign from the best job I’ve ever had. But God holds us all accountable for what we know, and I know this: The Emerging church movement is heresy and it has no place in any Christian’s mind, library, church, bookstore or life. There are larger, more important issues than tacky gifts & decorations. There is a spiritual battle going on for people’s souls inside our stores, and yet we are arming Satan. Brothers & sisters in Christ, I emplore you to do your own research, search the scriptures daily, and let our corporate leaders know you don’t support the selling of heresy in pursuit of the ‘almight dollar’. Put on your full armor, because we are at war. The road to the apostasy is here today, and thousands are being misled
Christie,
I want to propose another way of looking at it:
You say the EC is heresy. You’re right; some EC books are probably heretical.
Yet I would propose that many of the books that you consider to be fine are heretical, too. They seem fine from the point of not overtly denying the Lord, but they have other problems we might miss, like supporting the American Civil Religion, the American Dream, division within the Church, a lack of love toward enemies, pride that the reader and author are “not like that tax collector over there,” and on and on. These may be books that would pass most tests, but fail others.
The problem is that we may spot the heresy in the EC books yet swallow the equally heretical teachings in the other books because we are so used to their particular heresies that we no longer see them.
So what should I make of the EC book that exposes these other heresies? Truth is, many of the EC books do expose the heresies I mentioned above, especially heresies of individualism (as opposed to community), ignoring the poor (as opposed to social justice), contentment with one’s position in life (when proper self-examination and response are required instead), and on and on. There is more than one way to abuse God and His words. We often fail to see the abuse and denial from all angles, though.
Some things in life are not as simple as we imagine. Discernment is called for all the time. It may very well be that the EC forces you to think rightly about an issue you have ignored in your own walk with God, and it proposes issues and answers the other books that are “safe” never discuss.
The Christian marketplace has weapons and traps. The wrong book in the wrong hands at the wrong time can be detrimental. Yet that same book may be the right book in the right hands at the right time at another. A baby may not be able to handle a cruise missile, but in the hands of a military leader, it finds its proper user and use.
We should not be afraid of words, even wrong words. Reading wrong words may help us understand true words better. Or what we thought were wrong words were actually right words—it was you and I who were wrong about them and needed this exposure to them to understand what is truly right.
Discernment is critical.
Something to consider.
Dan, you’re right about discernment, but what about the new Christian who expects something from what he supposes will be more mature Christians who run the bookstore? It’s a shame what Christie admits — “we are not allowed to educate customers of this heresy – they are on their own.” I wonder, can discerning employees at least recommend one book over another?
Years ago, I read a book exposing and warning against the new age movement. It pointed out the various proponents and how new age thinking was creeping into the Church. Next time I go to the FCS, what do I see but this book side by side with books and authors it had warned about! The image of Russian Roulette comes to mind, but the mine field metaphor is good, too. One prays the Holy Spirit guides eyes and hands to the better books.
Michele,
I was a book buyer in my Christian bookstore days. I was also the primary book salesman. Nothing gripped me more than to recommend the right books to people. If salespeople at Christian bookstores don’t do that, then they are irresponsible. It’s that important. I took it upon myself to know something about every book I stocked.
Bookstores need to pay their salespeople more money. I get sick of hearing about “the ministry” when the bookstores don’t pay their people enough to make it compelling for those salespeople to learn what they are selling. You can’t minister if you know nothing about what you are ministering. If I were making $7 an hour on that kind of job, I wouldn’t have much incentive to truly know my products either.
Amen on pay raises! Pay for pray! You tell ‘em, Dan! Seriously, I’d tell any Christian who talks about going to a local Christian bookstore out of a ministry mentality that the low-level workers are probably not getting paid any more, and maybe less, than Barnes & Noble employees.
Get a job at Barnes & Noble, Christie.
I did. I prefer working there than in the Christian corporate clown ministry.
I agree in so many ways, and am disheartened by the commercialization of what is to be a day of worship. But I am also confused and hurt by the fact that you researched as much as you could in order to more effectively mock what is being done. “Thinline Bibles=eating disorders?” In what way does that comment glorify God?
Please, continue to be discerning and reveal what is not of the Lord, we are called to do so. But I would ask, before you present your concerns publicly, that you prayerfully consider what your driving force is. Christ rebuked in love, he did not ridicule.
Bingo!
I’d much prefer to shop at Family Christian than to be bombarded by members of my own church approaching me before or after church, or via e-mail throughout the week with their latest pyramid-get-rich-quick scheme. << Makes my skin crawl. Just my 2 cents.
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