Well, I can’t speak for “we.” I can only speak for “me.”

I am tired, anxious, worried, stressed. I bring into the assembly hall all that’s been affecting me all week. It’s all I can do to appear friendly to the greeters.

And the people around me – some are quite self-satisfied and successful, and superficial to those who approach them. Why would I want to approach them and pretend to have a conversation? We have nothing in common except being in the same place.

Some of those around me are just as anxious to avoid contact as I am. There’s the anxiety of disappointment – will that person think less of me? (And, will I think less of them?)

There are some who “know” me in the sense that they know my name and some of my skills or experiences. But they don’t really know me, and we have no time or opportunity to get to know each other. We are all busy with our jobs, our families, our lives.

Church is attendance, and sometimes participation, which means standing or sitting when directed.

It’s all I can do to appear to be composed during church. You want me now to step out of my security zone and approach people I don’t know & possibly suffer rejection?

It’s a bit much for me to be told I should be more “loving.” Perhaps that’s true. But as long as we’re discussing things I should be doing, perhaps we can add I should be exercising more, and watching what I eat, and spending my money carefully.

I get that. I have the lists of things I should be doing.

It’s not that I don’t know about these things. The reason I’m not doing them is because – at the heart of it – I’m broken, and alone, and tired, and weary. What I come to church for is succor and balm and incense; in return, I get flailed for not doing what I “should” be doing.

Well, yeah. Add them to the list. I get that list from everyone around me. I should be working harder at my job. I should be a better parent to my kids. I should be a better husband to my wife. I should be a more responsible driver.

I get that list wherever I go. So when I get the list from church, I add it to my pile of Things I Should Be Doing.

So far I’ve managed to exist by failing at doing the lists. My strategy is somewhat successful.

What I need in order to be “friendly” with the people around me is a different heart and outlook on life. I need to love people, to care about them, to consider them as something valuable to interact with. Telling me more, and louder, what to do is not accomplishing that.

Note: I’m not saying you are doing this.

[...] lack this trait can have everything else in the world and fail miserably. (here’s the original link. The comments to the post are also worth [...]

I wonder if this is necessarily a bad thing. It may be possible that God is whittling the church down to the remnant that He will use to rebuild things. Have you considered this?