Brain Flotsam

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Life is busy right now. Several writing projects in the fire. Busy. Busy. Good busy. Got no time to blog anything on theme—or even sensical. I’m looking at the clock and I simply can’t bring myself to do one more thing on my list. Fried.

Met my son’s homeschooling program’s minimum requirement, so if I get hit by a stray meteorite tomorrow, he’ll still pass.

The To-Do list fills. Then I proceed to misplace it. Make a new one. Go shopping for essentials, and despite the list, forget the most important item. I hate that.

Our country house was built before the Information Age crept out to the boonies. Only two phone jacks. Jury-rigged a third one for my office. The Thinker by Auguste RodinA few days ago, right in the middle of several freelancing projects, a mouse chewed through the supposedly vermin-proof phone line I’d run through the wall. Goodbye office phone. Hello to hours of snaking phone line behind an existing wall and through the subflooring of our house. Welcome to country living! (And don’t tell me about cats. Yes, all our neighbors have multiple cats. We’re all deathly allergic to the darned things.)

Pizza wisdom accumulated over years of observing and a summer spent in a pizzeria: Young guys aged 18-22 make the best pizzas. They make a pizza they would want to eat.  Older guys—not quite as good, but still okay. They still have memories of great pizzas from history past consumed with high school and college buddies. Young, unmarried women are close to the old guys. They make a nice-looking pizza, albeit with fewer toppings. Older, married women, usually moms, make lousy pizzas—half the toppings the young guys put on and with clumps of toppings rather than nicely scattered. They’ve spent too much time cooking at home and they’ve lost the will to do it at the pizzeria. They think of customers as their children, with an attitude of “I don’t care what it looks like, you eat it!” But those young guys make great pies.

Christians who love the movies work their tails off to find “spiritual” content in their favorite films as a way to justify the film. Non-Christians never do this. Makes me wonder just how much spiritual content actually exists in a film. I can’t say that I’ve ever met anyone who came to Christ because of the spiritual content of a movie. Makes you wonder…

They don’t make them like they used to (too much info edition): I still have a few pairs of wearable underwear I had in college, but several pairs I bought just three years ago of the exact same brand and style are filled with holes. Can anyone in the garment industry explain this to me?

They don’t make them alike for the sexes, either: I have a couple suits I’ve worn for more than ten years and they still look great. Same for my best dress shoes, which are now almost fifteen years old. My wife, on the other hand, can invest in the best women’s business suits made and they’re worn out in three years. Same goes for her shoes. I have a pair of basketball shoes from twenty years ago I can still wear, but my wife’s sneakers are lucky to last two years.

And still more on women’s fashions: My pet theory for years has been that shoes and clothes for women are designed by men who hate women. And I’m sticking with that theory. Also, I really wish lowrider jeans would go away. Ladies, only 0.0001 percent of the female population looks even passable in lowriders. Burn yours. You’re not in that 0.0001 percent.

Not a single person running for President in 2008 is worthy of the title. Unfortunately, this has been true since Reagan left office in 1988. I’m tired of seeing little boys and girls attempting to fill a man’s shoes. I never thought I’d say this, but the new French president’s a better choice than anything fielded in this country right now.

Gas is going to $4. I won’t be surprised if we see that horrible apparition on gas station signs come Memorial Day weekend.

I like the fact that most of the creeks, rivers and streams I’ve hiked along lately all look cleaner than I remember from twenty years ago. Let’s keep up that good work!

We had to eat out and my son, of course, chose McDonalds. Is it me or does a Big Mac weigh about two grams anymore? As a trick, I used to be able to eat a 70s-80s era Big Mac in one bite. Nowadays, I doubt that would impress anyone.

A Wendy’s Junior Bacon Cheeseburger, long the fast food choice of cheap guys everywhere, now has a patty about 1 mm in thickness. For a while, they bumped them to $1.19 and that was okay because they still had two slices of bacon and a decently thick patty. Now they’re back to $0.99 and you get one slice of bacon and a patty you can see through.  Sadly, the bun is the same size, so if you like the taste of bread with an added hint of beef, this is your sandwich.

Prices on groceries are holding firm on some canned and boxed items. But if you look closely, the cans and boxes continue to shrink in size. We love Barilla Plus pasta; I see it’s now being packaged at 14.5 ounces instead of 16. I don’t know about you, but when I see shenanigans like that, I wonder how stupid the manufacturer thinks I am. Boo! I don’t care what the canned/boxed good is, give me a full pound and none of this 15.1 ounces garbage. I’ll pay a few cents more. Just don’t insult me.

Despite the fact that nearly everything else bottled, canned, and boxed has gotten smaller, soft drinks have gotten larger. Tracks with the rise in diabetes, too.

Conspiracy of the week: The rise in prostate cancer in America tracks evenly with the rise of fluoridated water supplies.

Even though the temp dipped today, this has been a lovely May.

I’ve been driving and birding for coming up on thirty years and I can say that in that time, despite the fact that they seem possessed to swoop in front of cars, I’ve never seen a swallow become roadkill.

Weird thought: I’ve always wondered what percentage of the average church’s budget goes to landscaping.

I think it’s cool that old Legos I owned as a kid still work with my son’s set of Legos.  (Hey, you take the little wins when you can. My old Lincoln Logs don’t work as well with the newer ones.)

Why am I still up?

Bed calls. Have a great weekend.

Goodbye, Jerry

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Jerry FalwellThough I normally don’t comment on the deaths of well-known people, I need to write about the loss of Jerry Falwell.

Al Mohler posted some thoughts on Falwell and the resulting comment firestorm caught me by surprise for its sheer mean-spiritedness on both sides. Even in death, Falwell proves a most polarizing figure.

I didn’t know Rev. Falwell at all. Never met him. I watched him preach a few times on TV, but honestly, I was more interested in following his ASL interpreter. (I was learning ASL at the time.) Falwell’s preaching didn’t do much for me.

I wish Falwell had not become the face of Evangelicalism. I cringed every time the press went to him or to Pat Robertson for comments on current events. But Falwell was a product of the South, and he spoke like a true Southerner: unashamed of his opinions and happy to let you know them. If you understood that, you understood the man.

So as much as I wasn’t a fan, I wish to comment on two important truths, one he reinforced and one he later said.

No matter what any Christian thinks of Jerry Falwell, he decisively answered a most important question that all Christians must consider: Does a sacred/secular divide exist?

For most of Christian history, the answer has been yes. Jerry Falwell said no. And I believe he was right.

We can’t underestimate the profundity of pulling down the curtain between the sacred and the secular. Many of us today fail to realize how much we’ve gained by understanding that all of life is sacred, and it loses none of its sacredness when it intersects with everyday living. Eliminating that divide better frames the Kingdom of God in its proper context. The Kingdom penetrates everything it touches when Christians advance.

Jerry Falwell believed that Christians should not be ashamed to enter secular realms with the Gospel. Before he came on the scene, too many of us lived a double life. He didn’t found the idea, but he made it popular for Christians to go into the highways and byways of the world confident in Christ.

We forget what it was like before Falwell, don’t we?

Sadly, while the idea reflects God’s heart, the execution of that mandate doomed itself by going too far. Instead of letting the light of Christ speak, we decided to make something happen. Like Moses striking the rock, we overstepped our bounds and made a laughingstock of Evangelicalism. We equated expanding the Kingdom into secular realms with attempting to rule it with a not-so-subtle iron fist. In effect, the mishandling of the elimination of the sacred/secular divide led to power grabs from overly smug Evangelicals, rather than a humble glowing of light from within the traditionally dark areas of life long ago abandoned by believers.

Such promise….

As for what Falwell said, this comment post-9/11 got a lot of press:

“I really believe that the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians who are actively trying to make that an alternative lifestyle, the ACLU, People For the American Way, all of them who have tried to secularize America. I point the finger in their face and say, ‘You helped this happen.'”

Despite the fact that Falwell later apologized for the remark, I believe he was right—though not just in regard to the sins of those easy whipping boys.

For decades, America’s been gradually slouching toward Gomorrah. Some will claim the blame goes to the groups Falwell targeted in his comment. Others will say our lack of compassion for the poor, justice for the disenfranchised, and love for the least of these surpasses the sins of those other groups. Yet more will say that our materialism and pillaging of the planet at the the expense of other peoples and nations are the cause. Whatever the case, Falwell looked at 9/11 as a wake up call for the soul of our country.

Unfortunately, few of us seem to have answered that call. We just go on our merry way, humming a tune only we know, oblivious to signs of impending judgment.

So it’s hard not to see Jerry Falwell for what could have been. We Christians in America got Falwell for a spokesperson rather than a more Francis Schaeffer-like mouthpiece. Never one for subtlety, Falwell pushed everything fast, hard, and far. Excess toppled it all in the end.

Still, as much as some Christians are ashamed of Falwell for that excess, I can still thank him for making more of us aware of the truth that the Kingdom of God is not hemmed in. Christians do have a mandate to be salt and light in the most tasteless and dark places. If that’s ultimately his legacy, it’s a fine one to leave us.

Wonderland

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I maxed out last week. Every day filled with activity and left me scurrying from place to place like a squirrel on amphetamines. I swore at one point I heard a hummingbird yell, “Dude, slow down! You’re like wearin’ me out.”

Around dusk last night and late this afternoon, I took a break in my favorite place, the outdoors. My halcyon time of the year is that holy month of days between mid-May and mid-June. The late spring grows pregnant with possibility for the upcoming summer. Hallowed days swell with life. The sky pulses cerulean. The trees fluoresce with green.

I picked up my binoculars, hoping to catch some stragglers on the spring warbler migration. The gorgeous Cape May WarblerWhile showing my son a Red-winged Blackbird atop one of our sycamores, I happened to spot a Cape May Warbler. On my own property! My neighbor across the street, an Audubon Society local president, blew my mind when he said he saw one of these uncommon birds in his stand of pines last year. Not having a Cape May on my life list, I thought I’d lost my opportunity forever. But it showed up when I least expected it.

Saw a Wild Turkey, too. It’s nice to know America’s bird is coming back. I’ve seen more in the last three years than in the previous twenty-five.

A Rose-breasted Grosbeak surprised me, since I hadn’t seen any on our property before. You tend to see more of them in winter in Ohio, but this one happily flitted through the canopy blissfully unaware of his being out-of-place in May.

An Eastern Wood Pewee hunkered on a spare limb by our pond…patience, patience. Then, zip! Snared a moth mid-flight. Back to the branch. Waiting….

Two Flickers tended their nest in a hole in an ash tree. Yellow Warblers, a Myrtle Warbler, a Yellow-breasted Chat, then pow—the eye-socking sight of the setting sun catching a Baltimore Oriole’s tangerine feathers. Two happy Chipping Sparrows watched me as they hopped around our gravel driveway, scouting for food, chipping as they searched.

Later, I left our forest, walked back to our porch, and pulled up a chair to watch the half acre of trees nearest our house, looking for tiny flashes of movement in the increasingly dense canopy. Here, the locust trees come late to the spring show, fighting with the walnuts to be the last to leaf. I hear the “drink your tea” of a Towhee, spot a Red-bellied Woodpecker as it digs for bugs wedged in tree bark, and hear a tiny Chickadee—its weight not more than a nickel, dime, and quarter together—scolding all 215 lbs. of me. And I’d probably lose that fight, too.

I saw a Cerulean Warbler a couple weeks ago, and I guess the reference to that color should bring me out of my reverie and back to the blog. People don’t want to read about a bunch of birds, do they? No time. People come here to skim some hard-hitting commentary on the latest ecclesiastical buzz, right?

A wise man once wrote,

Four things on earth are small, but they are exceedingly wise: the ants are a people not strong, yet they provide their food in the summer; the rock badgers are a people not mighty, yet they make their homes in the cliffs; the locusts have no king, yet all of them march in rank; the lizard you can take in your hands, yet it is in kings’ palaces.
—Proverbs 30:24-28

I don’t know what happened to wonder. It seems to be in short supply today. In a disposable world where people toss cigarettes and half-eaten bags of fast food out their car windows while on their way to their next appointment, I suppose there’s not much place for wonder.

Wonder goes missing in busyness. Spring warbler migration? What? When? Oh, I’ll pencil that in my calendar for next year, I promise.

Entertainment tramples wonder, since wonder may not be as flashy, not as trendy, not as immediate. Wonder takes a little work. Just a little.

We might not see wonder, but we do see truckloads of pragmatism in our churches. We can teach and preach and prophesy on how to have a great marriage, but most people will leave without any sense of wonder at the person sitting next to them on the drive home. We can spend an hour in worship, yet the second the last note dies out in the sanctuary rafters, we’re scanning our bulletins to see what’s next, hoping that the sermon won’t be too dry or lengthy.

Because we don’t wonder, we don’t pray. We already know what God’s like. Jesus won once and He’ll win again. Yadda, yadda, yadda. Hope He comes back soon—but not too soon. Amen.

When wonder goes missing in our churches, answers replace it. Not questions, just answers. Questions accompany the first signs of wonder, especially when the answers for those questions don’t come easily. And where wonder reigns, sometimes neither answers nor questions matter, only the wonder.

I wish I saw more wonder in American Christians. I suspect that many of us are too caught up in living our best life now to wonder at the way the Wood Pewee pirouettes in space to outmaneuver a zigzagging moth. Or how the craters on the moon form patterns. Or how the brook teems with tadpoles, mayflies, and tiny fish. What are the names of those fish? Does it matter?

I think it matters. I think we’ve lost something in the last hundred years in this country. Our wonder’s fled. I think it’s one reason why so many people take psychoactive drugs. Strip away the wonder and the world turns frightening, cold, and distant. It becomes the enemy. Life takes on a winner-take-all mentality where some win and others lose, and God help us if we’re not one of the winners. Now pass the damned Zoloft, thank you very much.

I think a loss of wonder means it’s far easier to take a gun and shoot at cars passing by. I believe a loss of wonder makes it that much easier for an angry husband to take a fist to his wife’s face. I know that a loss of wonder makes us shallower people.

Loss of wonder is a sin.

We won’t hear that sermon on Sunday, though. Because if we did, it would mean we’d have to start dealing with our culture, a culture that successfully murdered wonder and got away with it. Nothing pains me more than to hear some five-year-old say, “Ah, it’s just a stupid old bird.” Because I know that any child who says that will one day grow up to say, “God? What do I need God for?”

Something to wonder about.