Attack of the Wereblogger!


In the end, I blame it all on Jared Wilson of The Thinkings, Mysterium Tremendum, and Shizuka Blog fame (see, he even has three blogs—all the proof we need for what follows.)

You see, just last week I informed everyone here that I was cutting back on blogging because I had to get my novel finished in time for the American Christian Fiction Writers’ convention in Nashville in about seven weeks. Plus, plus, plus, plus…well, you all read the post, right? So instead of doing that, I’m fussing with the Green Movement, lobbing a few favorite quotes at you readers (because I was forced to by another professional writer who is even now wringing his hands and muttering, “Excellent”), torching Harry Potter, blabbing about the Top 50 Churches in America, and ranting about necrotic kittens.

I have this theory. Follow me and see if it makes sense.

Jared is a fellow blogging stay-at-home novelist dad. While I freelance and he doesn’t, we share other “separated at birth” characteristics, even if he is thirteen (a number that makes triskaidekaphobes cower and provides a hint at the evil to come) years younger than I am. I know for a fact he likes The 77s. Rare, but good taste nonetheless. I could go on….

After witnessing Jared’s complete inability to stop blogging after he promised that he was going to cut back for the sake of his novel-in-progress—he must’ve posted seventeen hundred times on The Thinklings alone—Wereblogger with Small ChildI began to suspect that he suffers from a heretofore unknown form of lycanthropy.

Jared Wilson is, I believe, a wereblogger.

With nine million blogs out there it was inevitable that something gruesome like this would arise from all that Blogger, WordPress, and Movable Type muck. (Honestly, what good can come from a company named Six Apart?) And no, this doesn’t have anything to do with the moon, just the syzygy of blogging Christian stay-at-home-dads who are working on the great American novel. There seems to be a lot of us lately, almost worthy of a demographic study, certainly. But how many of us simply can’t stop blogging? How many of us have to put our howls out on the Web for everyone to see lest our blood seethe and boil in our very veins? I ask you! How far will this madness go?

Jared released a JPEG of his novel markup the other day. He was also curiously absent from his three blogs long enough to cause me unease. Just where was he lurking? Now that he appears to be working on his book again, why is it that I have a massive case of writer’s block? Why is the blank Word doc page mocking me? What will be the fate of my novel now that I am stricken with the cranial gloom that every novelist fears? Despite my creative affliction on this my cherished novel, why, like the living dead, do I still blog?

And what are these bite marks on my legs?

{Jared, you fiend! Bill found you out and you disposed of him before he could squeal. First Blo—face it, he’s only alive in your dreams— and now this! The horror!}

{Hey, it doesn’t get the novel finished but at least I’m having a bit o’ fun writing, right?}

8 thoughts on “Attack of the Wereblogger!

  1. I was beginning to think that it was a tad ironic, this explosion of blogging activity right on the heels of your self-imposed retreat from it all.

    Perhaps this is an example of the perverse gene that humans harbour that causes us to rebel against our own resolutions. I find that whenever I make a bland announcement of my intentions, from that point onwards something within me militates against carrying them out and I’ll quickly find something else to do. It could be a strong instinct to fight clear of any box I might get put in, even if it’s me that put myself in that box.

    A sure fire way for me to get little done is to write a list of what I shall do – you can guarantee I will do everything that is not on the list; it’s sheer rebellion … a human thing. I now have to surprise myself if I want to do something. I keep it a secret from everyone and get on with it – no grand declared intentions and hence no public sense of failure when I fall short. That kind of works.

  2. Anonymous

    That was me, Blestwithsons. Jared is so powerful he somehow made me anonymous! (bws shrieks in terror and runs away)

  3. jared

    Hey, it doesn’t get the novel finished but at least I’m having a bit o’ fun writing, right?

    Um, riiight.


    I don’t know what it is, man, but I know I’m not alone in that announcing a break is a surefire way to get hit with a bazillion post ideas. If I ever get blogger’s block, I just announce a break, and Voila! The ideas come pourin’ in.

    I was able to get some work done while still posting at Thinklings, but obviously not as much as I should have. I like the pace I’m on now, which includes editing about 2 chapters a day and still posting a little something at Shizuka Blog.

    But blogging’s addictive. Aside from the instant gratification for us writer-types and the daily exercise of writing something (anything!) itself, I have found that the main thing that keeps me blogging rather than “real” writing is the community. When I’m on novel duty, I’m alone. When I’m blogging, I’m with friends. Sort of.
    And for a guy who has no real friends where he lives anyway and is a SAHD, the communities, such as they are, that are present in the circle of my three blogs actually fills a need.

    I just have to learn to go without for longer stretches. 😉

    Dan, are you still coming to Nashville for the Conference? We ought to do dinner or lunch or breakfast or coffee or something while you’re here.

  4. Jared,

    Yes, I plan on attending the AFCW conference. And though I thought you said you wouldn’t be able to make it, I’m glad you will.

    By all means, let’s meet up!

  5. Dee

    Same thing happened to me last week, but I’m not at a stay at home dad, but a disabled small business mom.
    I think I might head up to Nashville myself.

  6. jared

    Well, I won’t actually be attending the conference. But I only live 20 miles outside of Nashville, so it’d be a shame not to see you while you’re here.
    My agent is on the conference faculty, and I’ve already reserved that whole weekend to be able to meet with him, too, so I will definitely be available. My mom’s coming into town to watch the girls (Becky will be out of state at a wedding), so I’ll be a free man for the duration y’all are down here.

    Just let me know when/where you want to meet, and I’m there, dude!

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