And Now a Word from Our Sponsor…

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I read another blogger’s comment that she received some words prayed over her this last weekend. Now comes the mulling of whether or not those words constitute a clear leading of God.

I can sympathize with that conundrum. I use the word conundrum because we receive a lot of “words” in today’s Church, but all too few of them turn into anything at all, making receiving such a word a dicey proposition.

It shouldn’t be that way.

Though I count myself a charismatic and thus have been exposed to hundreds of words prayed over me in my lifetime, I can count on two hands the number that truly reflected the intervention of God. That’s a darned poor track record for “words.”

Scarier still: all the ones I can verify as legit came from the same two men, one an oldster in the Faith and the other a young man old in soul.

Two men in thirty years of my Christian life. Two.

You’ve got to wonder at the damage all those phony messages from God cause. The prophet is in!If I hear another person mention they’re going to a prophecy conference I’m going to lose it. Those folks follow these so-called prophets around like groupies and it’s sad. Considering the accuracy of today’s modern prophets, you’ve got to wonder how many of those conference attendees have had hundreds of words prayed over them, none of them amounting to more than so much air. Yet the addiction’s there, so they go, always seeking, but never finding.

Don’t get me wrong here. I believe in modern day prophecy and gifts of wisdom and knowledge. I’ve given out a few of those in my life, emphasis on few. I’m hearkening back through time and I can count perhaps three—at the most. Why so few? I don’t speak unless I’m absolutely sure of my source.

It bugs me that for all these prophetic words, almost none of them resemble Jesus’ warning to the man at the pool of Bethesda: stop what you’re doing or something bad is going to happen to you. Usually the word consists of some vague reference to how God loves the person receiving the word so much and has grandiose plans for him or her. Every once in a while, you do get someone calling out a “Jezebel spirit” just to keep from seeming too positive. (All I can say is that this Jezebel spirit’s getting a workout in some charismatic circles. Must be exhausted by now.)

It’s all too easy to make up some high-falutin’ spiritual language talking about great nations, lampstands, and watchmen. Curiously enough, none of those handful of accurate words prayed over me ever contained such language. Most were just plain talk. But at least they were right.

On the bogus side, I once received a word from someone telling me I would be a great nation. I’m not truly sure what that’s supposed to mean, although I’m convinced my wife wouldn’t go along with it. Our pastor came from a household with fourteen kids and I can tell you that the Mrs. shudders at the thought. Another time, two very earnest women insisted I’d be getting back into camping ministry “in the next few months,” but my phone’s not rung for that idled career in fifteen years. That’s a whole lot of months.

Pity the poor person who has those mistaken words turned against them, too. When some minor prophet makes a pronouncement and it doesn’t come to pass, it’s never the prophet who’s wrong. It’s the poor unfortunate who received the bad word who gets his or her mustard seed of faith questioned. I don’t know about the prophet, but when I read the Scriptures it says that God’s words don’t return void.

I wish I didn’t have to write this post. Yet with all these “words from the Lord” being bandied about, someone needs to speak up.

About ten years ago, I remember a church meeting where a man stood up and relayed a highly specific word. (Note: the details have been changed for privacy concerns.) This man had a word of knowledge about a woman whose teenage daughter Josie had run away from home, traveled south, and was now deeply immersed in the drug culture of Miami. She’d been gone for three years now, effectively missing, though the mother had heard from her once in that time. The man went on to say that the mother needed to contact her daughter at that last known phone number, even though the daughter had not been at that number for more than a year. The man then said the daughter was afraid to call her mother, but if the mother called her first, God would do a great healing in both their lives and they would be restored to each other. But the mother needed to make that call to the only phone number she had.

My wife turned to me and noted that we didn’t know anyone in the church who fit those details and she suspected the word was wrong. Our small church met in a rented facility, and what no one knew was that a woman had come in to prepare the building for another activity later that day. She was in a back room and heard that word over the building’s sound system. Amazed, she wandered up front to the man who gave the word and told how astonished she was that anyone knew her situation. She prayed with some folks, then went home and called her daughter at that phone number. And yes, everything the man said came to be.

Now THAT’S a word folks. It’s specific. It contains information that can only be spiritually discerned. It intersects with known realities. It meets a need. It makes something happen because of the faith of the hearer who trusts it. And, most of all, it comes to pass.

I guess I’m tired of the burden of proof falling on the one receiving these supposed words from God from someone else. I don’t want to seem glib, put I think “put up or shut up”—a most earthy sort of spiritual testing— applies. If all these folks delivering words have a track record that resembles a 500:1 shot bound for the glue factory, then they need to sit down and stop hurting others with their “gift.”

And yeah, I get a little steamed thinking about it. I wish more of us did.

Recognizing the Spiritual Child

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No long discourse today, only a simple thought.

Watching my son’s soccer team play, I thought how easy it is for us to watch those five and six-year-olds knowing that they’re just kids. We lower our expectations as a result. Any sense of progress means the world to us.

My son’s ball handling’s come a long way. His defensive play is light-years better this spring than last fall. He scored two goals on Saturday, four over the course of eight games, because he’s got a better sense of the game and where the ball’s going. He’s broken through gaps and taken good shots that he would have ignored in the fall. Taking those baby steps...He’s greatly improved his play and I’m proud of him.

I realized walking off that field Saturday that we get such a glow out of our children when they make those baby steps of progress. Our expectations match their maturity level and seeing them do even one thing better means the world.

I also realized a greater truth.

We have low expectations for youngsters. We can look at someone and see that they are a child, then we adjust accordingly. How hard then to look at someone who appears to be an adult on the outside, yet is a child in the Faith. We don’t look hard enough for the spiritual child in them. We assume because they’re an adult on the outside that their faith matches that external appearance.

How much damage happens in the name of Christ because we make that assumption? We wouldn’t treat a five-year-old like a fifty-year-old in any other aspect of life, yet we all too readily will castigate the spiritual child for not being an adult.

I wish our spiritual eyes matched our physical ones. If we could see that a thirty-year-old Christian might only be a three-year-old in Christ, we’d act differently toward them, wouldn’t we? I hope we would, otherwise we would commit a sort of spiritual child abuse by asking of a spiritual child what he or she could not meet. Too often, we’d inflict punishment for a goal someone that young in the faith could not attain.

This week, think about the people you know who are Christians, especially the ones who are struggling in their faith. Many aren’t even to their spiritual teen years in maturity, yet we ask for adult responses from them, responses they have no reservoir of experience to pull from. Think about lowering your expectations and walking alongside them as a mentor or simply a more mature friend who cares.

Because children in the faith exist, and the best way for us to bring them to maturity is to recognize their inner spiritual child and help that child reach maturity in the proper fullness of time.

Brain Flotsam

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Life is busy right now. Several writing projects in the fire. Busy. Busy. Good busy. Got no time to blog anything on theme—or even sensical. I’m looking at the clock and I simply can’t bring myself to do one more thing on my list. Fried.

Met my son’s homeschooling program’s minimum requirement, so if I get hit by a stray meteorite tomorrow, he’ll still pass.

The To-Do list fills. Then I proceed to misplace it. Make a new one. Go shopping for essentials, and despite the list, forget the most important item. I hate that.

Our country house was built before the Information Age crept out to the boonies. Only two phone jacks. Jury-rigged a third one for my office. The Thinker by Auguste RodinA few days ago, right in the middle of several freelancing projects, a mouse chewed through the supposedly vermin-proof phone line I’d run through the wall. Goodbye office phone. Hello to hours of snaking phone line behind an existing wall and through the subflooring of our house. Welcome to country living! (And don’t tell me about cats. Yes, all our neighbors have multiple cats. We’re all deathly allergic to the darned things.)

Pizza wisdom accumulated over years of observing and a summer spent in a pizzeria: Young guys aged 18-22 make the best pizzas. They make a pizza they would want to eat.  Older guys—not quite as good, but still okay. They still have memories of great pizzas from history past consumed with high school and college buddies. Young, unmarried women are close to the old guys. They make a nice-looking pizza, albeit with fewer toppings. Older, married women, usually moms, make lousy pizzas—half the toppings the young guys put on and with clumps of toppings rather than nicely scattered. They’ve spent too much time cooking at home and they’ve lost the will to do it at the pizzeria. They think of customers as their children, with an attitude of “I don’t care what it looks like, you eat it!” But those young guys make great pies.

Christians who love the movies work their tails off to find “spiritual” content in their favorite films as a way to justify the film. Non-Christians never do this. Makes me wonder just how much spiritual content actually exists in a film. I can’t say that I’ve ever met anyone who came to Christ because of the spiritual content of a movie. Makes you wonder…

They don’t make them like they used to (too much info edition): I still have a few pairs of wearable underwear I had in college, but several pairs I bought just three years ago of the exact same brand and style are filled with holes. Can anyone in the garment industry explain this to me?

They don’t make them alike for the sexes, either: I have a couple suits I’ve worn for more than ten years and they still look great. Same for my best dress shoes, which are now almost fifteen years old. My wife, on the other hand, can invest in the best women’s business suits made and they’re worn out in three years. Same goes for her shoes. I have a pair of basketball shoes from twenty years ago I can still wear, but my wife’s sneakers are lucky to last two years.

And still more on women’s fashions: My pet theory for years has been that shoes and clothes for women are designed by men who hate women. And I’m sticking with that theory. Also, I really wish lowrider jeans would go away. Ladies, only 0.0001 percent of the female population looks even passable in lowriders. Burn yours. You’re not in that 0.0001 percent.

Not a single person running for President in 2008 is worthy of the title. Unfortunately, this has been true since Reagan left office in 1988. I’m tired of seeing little boys and girls attempting to fill a man’s shoes. I never thought I’d say this, but the new French president’s a better choice than anything fielded in this country right now.

Gas is going to $4. I won’t be surprised if we see that horrible apparition on gas station signs come Memorial Day weekend.

I like the fact that most of the creeks, rivers and streams I’ve hiked along lately all look cleaner than I remember from twenty years ago. Let’s keep up that good work!

We had to eat out and my son, of course, chose McDonalds. Is it me or does a Big Mac weigh about two grams anymore? As a trick, I used to be able to eat a 70s-80s era Big Mac in one bite. Nowadays, I doubt that would impress anyone.

A Wendy’s Junior Bacon Cheeseburger, long the fast food choice of cheap guys everywhere, now has a patty about 1 mm in thickness. For a while, they bumped them to $1.19 and that was okay because they still had two slices of bacon and a decently thick patty. Now they’re back to $0.99 and you get one slice of bacon and a patty you can see through.  Sadly, the bun is the same size, so if you like the taste of bread with an added hint of beef, this is your sandwich.

Prices on groceries are holding firm on some canned and boxed items. But if you look closely, the cans and boxes continue to shrink in size. We love Barilla Plus pasta; I see it’s now being packaged at 14.5 ounces instead of 16. I don’t know about you, but when I see shenanigans like that, I wonder how stupid the manufacturer thinks I am. Boo! I don’t care what the canned/boxed good is, give me a full pound and none of this 15.1 ounces garbage. I’ll pay a few cents more. Just don’t insult me.

Despite the fact that nearly everything else bottled, canned, and boxed has gotten smaller, soft drinks have gotten larger. Tracks with the rise in diabetes, too.

Conspiracy of the week: The rise in prostate cancer in America tracks evenly with the rise of fluoridated water supplies.

Even though the temp dipped today, this has been a lovely May.

I’ve been driving and birding for coming up on thirty years and I can say that in that time, despite the fact that they seem possessed to swoop in front of cars, I’ve never seen a swallow become roadkill.

Weird thought: I’ve always wondered what percentage of the average church’s budget goes to landscaping.

I think it’s cool that old Legos I owned as a kid still work with my son’s set of Legos.  (Hey, you take the little wins when you can. My old Lincoln Logs don’t work as well with the newer ones.)

Why am I still up?

Bed calls. Have a great weekend.