A Place for My Stuff

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That’s all I want, that’s all you need in life, is a little place for your stuff, ya know? I can see it on your table, everybody’s got a little place for their stuff. This is my stuff, that’s your stuff, that’ll be his stuff over there. That’s all you need in life, a little place for your stuff. That’s all your house is: a place to keep your stuff. If you didn’t have so much stuff, you wouldn’t need a house. You could just walk around all the time.A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it. You can see that when you’re taking off in an airplane. You look down, you see everybody’s got a little pile of stuff. All the little piles of stuff. And when you leave your house, you gotta lock it up. Wouldn’t want somebody to come by and take some of your stuff. They always take the good stuff. They never bother with that crap you’re saving. All they want is the shiny stuff. That’s what your house is, a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get…more stuff!
—George Carlin

It’s been probably 25 years since I saw George Carlin on The Tonight Show do his “A Place for My Stuff” routine. And when your stuff goes bad, you find another place for it...Carson’s audience laughed hysterically, but I don’t think I laughed once. Anyone who knows me know that I spend a lot of time yucking it up, but I didn’t that night because I realized that not only was Carlin right, but he was devastatingly so. The whole routine (only a tiny portion reproduced here) cut me to the quick.

Last week, a reader surmised that I lived modestly. I don’t. I live in America. Every American reading this is in the top two or three percent of wealthiest people in the world. None of us can say we live modestly.

Okay, modestly in relation to other Americans, perhaps. But even that doesn’t mean all that much when you live in a nation geared to consumption.

The Bible has something to say about that:

And he told them a parable, saying, “The land of a rich man produced plentifully, and he thought to himself, ‘What shall I do, for I have nowhere to store my crops?’ And he said, ‘I will do this: I will tear down my barns and build larger ones, and there I will store all my grain and my goods. And I will say to my soul, Soul, you have ample goods laid up for many years; relax, eat, drink, be merry.’ But God said to him, ‘Fool! This night your soul is required of you, and the things you have prepared, whose will they be?’ So is the one who lays up treasure for himself and is not rich toward God.”
—Luke 12:16-21

I don’t know about you, but a considerable amount of my daily routine centers around my stuff. Our washing machine broke down Thursday, and it took me the better part of four hours to deal with my hopeless attempts at fixing it, followed by the inevitable call to the service center to place a service call that will cost nearly half what I paid for the washer. Some people out there would throw the seven-year-old appliance away, but I don’t want to play into that consumer game. Call me a fool, but part of being a good steward of both the things God has given me and the earth that He told me to care for is to resist leaving a trail of refuse behind me.

I tend to use things until they fall to pieces. My newest pair of casual or dress shoes is seven years old. As I type, I’m wearing the clothes I wore to church Sunday morning: eight-year-old shirt, twelve-year-old pants, fifteen-year-old socks, and eleven-year-old shoes and sweater. Needless to say, I don’t keep up with the fashion trends.

My wife’s car pushes eight, while my truck verges on fifteen. My truck had to go in the shop because a sensor said the fuel mixture was off; the drop-off in mileage proves it. The mechanic hasn’t had much luck getting the part, so the handwriting may be on the wall. I don’t know. The rest of the truck is as solid as the day I bought it.

We don’t go on vacations. My wife and I bought four oak chairs for our dining room—that accounts for all the furniture we’ve purchased as a married couple. And while our sleeper sofa needs reupholstering, we don’t lack for furniture.

In fact, we don’t lack for anything when it comes down to it. We have more in one room of our house than most of the rest of the world has in the entirety of whatever dwelling it is they live in.

And for all that stuff, we spend countless hours and dollars maintaining, insuring, and protecting. Sometimes I think there has to be a better way to live.

I think God has us in a time of pruning. I don’t know why I need all the things we have. Yet I also know many people would look at us and turn up their noses at how little we have comparatively. I know I see the newspaper ads and hear people talking about this expensive bauble and that, but little of that stuff holds any fascination for me.

The Wall Street Journal ran an article last week comparing a $100 sweater to one costing ten times as much. Despite the fact that almost everyone thought the $1000 sweater more chic, the Journal still asked the realistic question, “But is it worth $900 more?”

Meanwhile, I’m asking the even crazier question: “Who buys sweaters that cost a hundred dollars?

Don’t get me wrong. I’m all for buying quality. The appliances in my house are all Kenmore Elite (including the failed washer, sad to say) because at one time the extra money was worth it in terms of quality and longevity. My mother’s high-end Kenmore washer lasted thirty years. Something tells me I won’t get that from these appliances. (I’ll try to stay positive.)

Still, even when we spend more on quality, we still spend too much. We duplicate what our neighbors have instead of sharing with them. We don’t look out for our neighbor in need because it means we would have less money to buy more stuff for ourselves. We expect people to take care of their own because they have their own stuff and we have ours and never the twain shall meet, as they say.

But what if we Christians stopped with all the crazed consumption? Perhaps instead of twenty polo shirts, what if we had two? We could spend a little bit more for better quality and perhaps even buy American once in awhile. But most of all, we could learn to live on less, not because the economy stinks, but because Jesus gave everything, even His own life, so that we could get the focus off ourselves and onto others.

I guarantee you, right now, you know a family that had a medical emergency they cannot pay for and that emergency is crippling them, and not just in the pocketbook. I guarantee you, right now, there’s a family in your church with parents wondering where the next meal’s coming from. I guarantee you, right now, you know a bright kid who may never make it to college because they simply can’t afford to go. I guarantee you, right now, you know a family ready to lose their modest home because of job loss.

I can’t help but think that, for many of us, the enveloping spiritual malaise we feel may have a direct connection to being overwhelmed by all our stuff. Perhaps if we did a better job living with less, giving away our excess, and considering others better than ourselves, then maybe, just maybe, we’d feel that spiritual fire in the belly again.

We can’t take it with us. Better to give it away or forgo it altogether than have our souls crushed beneath a pile of stuff. I suspect that in saying no to accumulation, we can say yes more often to those real needs we encounter every day in the lives of the people we meet.

Maybe then we’ll find our coffers here pleasantly small and our treasure in heaven immense.

***

A sidenote: From time to time, I receive e-mails from people who wish to send me money as a token of gratitude for what gets posted here at Cerulean Sanctum. I appreciate those gestures and the kindness of the people involved. This blog doesn’t exist to generate money, nor do I wish to sell out to corporate interests that would alter the kind of posts you might read here. All that is by plan.

While I do appreciate that some folks would like to support me monetarily, I have two much better ways you can help:

Take whatever money you designated to send and instead spend it on a needy person you know. My wife and I know many people who have no health insurance, who are either burdened by outstanding medical debt or who cannot afford the basic medical care they need. We know people like that, so we’re sure you know someone, too. They need that money desperately. Find their address and send it to them anonymously, if possible.

On that note, just this weekend, the son of dear friends of ours was diagnosed with juvenile diabetes after a harrowing weekend in which he came close to dying. The family works with the Hispanic community in our area and operates a small ministry. An emergency room visit, intensive care, and a lengthy stay in the hospital will no doubt tap out the entirety of funds this uninsured family receives in ministry support. Obviously, this is a desperate need. If you would like to help this family defray the costs of medical care for their eleven-year-old son, e-mail me and I’ll send you their info. Donations to their ministry are tax deductible.

If a reader would like to bless me, the best way to do so would be to refer freelance writing and editing work to me. That simple act costs you nothing but allows me to help someone else with the skills God gave me and earn my keep as a workman. I can also offer a blessing in return for being blessed. Because I do quality of work, I generate repeat business and good word of mouth—a gift that keeps giving. In that, one freelancing project can grow into a great tree that produces abundant fruit.

Thank you. Have a blessed week.

Lessons Learned…Or Not

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We talked about the lack of discernment in some parts of the Church earlier this week. Right now, I’d like to discuss the other side of that discernment issue.

One of the tendencies some people in the Church have is an overwhelming need to condense all of life into lessons. As if each day has some life-altering factoid ready to uncover if we just live the right way. Now that right way varies depending on whom you talk to, but it usually involves plenty of prayer and lots of musing on the issue.

Whenever someone says, “Sounds like God’s trying to teach you something,” you’re having one of those “better figure out what you’re bein’ taught there, son” conversations. A lot of times that conversation gets tied into Romans 8:28 (and we, of course, all know what THAT verse says), so the person who’s supposed to be learning a lesson gets the double whammy of not only having to scry the necessary lesson to be learned, but also that the lesson will have clearly positive outcomes that even an amoeba could see.

Now I recently turned 45, which, while not ancient, finds me on the back side of the  mountain. I’ve got enough life experience to be able to comment on this thing or that, and when it comes to this issue of lessons learned amid life’s experiences, I gotta say this:

I dunno.

I’ve seen people drive themselves nuts trying to figure out what the lesson is amid some trial. And many times that’s because they’ve got these spiritual advisors telling them they need to fast and pray and put on sackcloth and sit in ashes and take on the attitude of the oracle at Delphi in order to find out just what it is that’s supposed to be learned. And the tea leaves say...?Because spiritual advisors are sayin’ something’s supposed to be learned here, aren’t they? Funny that they never know what that lesson’s supposed to be (because each lesson seems only for the person supposed to be learning it, you know, and the advisors aren’t THAT wise to know someone else’s lesson).

Several years ago, my brand new bride and I departed the homeland and sojourned in California. Looked like God setup the whole thing, too. All the prayers for us came down on the side of “Go!” The timing was perfect, the job was perfect, and we were deliriously happy at the thought of it.

And yet six months later, it all fell apart. Never got better, either. In fact, in a lot of ways it got worse to the point that we still struggle with the situations that sojourn created for us.

Yes, at least one person we know came to Christ out of that time. I comfort myself with that thought, though I’m just as likely to wonder if that couldn’t have happened some other way. But you don’t know.

As for the lesson? You’ve got me.

Truthfully, “You’ve got me” is what comes out of most of the trials I’ve faced in life. If you had to rank my ability to discern lessons and their spiritual import, I’d have to say that Balaam’s ass ranks about a hundred times higher on that chart than yours truly.

It just may be that I’m a thicker brick than some folks, but I gotta say that whatever lessons I’m supposed to be learning, especially amid trials, they don’t vary much off the same old lesson I learned a long, long time ago: Repent and have faith in God.

So why do we make such a production out of that one, simple truth? Why do spiritual advisors hang huge millstones around people’s necks (especially when those people are suffering amid trials), warning them that they better discover the lesson or else?

Some people came to Jesus trying to scry lessons out of some difficult circumstances. They were probably self-righteous people, you know, “spiritual advisors” and such. They came to Jesus trying to get Him to tell them the lesson, but He he turned the tables on them:

There were some present at that very time who told him about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices. And he answered them, “Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans, because they suffered in this way? No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish. Or those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them: do you think that they were worse offenders than all the others who lived in Jerusalem? No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.”
—Luke 13:1-5

You and I may never know the reasoning behind a “lesson.” Sometimes life happens and there may not be any lesson to be learned than to repent and have faith in God.

So if you’re one of those people in a tough spot, especially if you’re plagued by a need to discover the lesson you should be learning, let me spare you the agony of scrying out an answer. Put down the tea leaves and goat entrails.

Because the lesson’s always the same, no matter the situation.

Repent and have faith in God.

Following TBN Off a Cliff

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'If I see anymore running mascara, I'm going over...'Nowadays, I hate to even admit I’m a charismatic. Sure, every sect within Christianity has its quirks, but sadly for charismatics, their quirks wind up hosting Christian TV shows with sets that look like 18th century French whorehouses.

It’s not enough that some charismatic TV preachers have $23,000 gilt toilets in their ministry centers. It’s not enough that they sell holy water, or boast of gold flakes falling into their worship services, or maintain prophecy hotlines and Web sites. In short, with too many charismatics, especially the prominent ones, it’s just…well, not enough.

Hang around in charismatic circles long enough (particularly in newer Third Wave circles and the true old school William Branham fan clubs) and you’ll likely encounter one bizarre “leading” after another.

Take, for instance, the modern prophetic movement. A number of prominent prophets have arisen in recent years, many from the old Kansas City prophets debacle who have spun off new ministries. People desperate for a “fresh revelation from God” follow leaders within the prophetic movement like groupies. These prophets put on traveling prophetic road shows where they prophesy over people—likely people who have been following the roadshows from town to town. And, of course, it all costs boatloads of money. People dying for that fresh revelation have a tenuous hold on their cash, needless to say.

I, for one, understand none of this fascination, for several reasons:

One of the best-known of the prophets has said their accuracy is only about 60 percent. Judging from the vagueness of most of the prophetic “words” that prophecy-lovers swoon over, that’s a pretty lousy figure, and I would say that even that 60 percent is generous. My guess? Maybe less than 10 percent, and that’s just on stuff like “God will prosper you.”

Modern prophets seem to be highly selective of what is important. For instance, I can recall no celebrity prophet foreseeing 9/11. We had two of the most prominent prophets come to one of my old churches, and for hours they spoke “words,” but neither seemed to make any mention of the fact that within a few months the pastor of the church would die several times after routine surgery, only to barely survive after repeated resuscitations. You would’ve thought that might have come out, wouldn’t you?

Today’s prophets never seem to deliver negative prophecies with drastic consequences—except when they’re warning against not heeding their prophecies.

Too many of these prophets ally with bizarre organizations. The same prophet who cited the low accuracy figure was initiated into the secretive Catholic organization the Knights of Malta. Joining him was a major pastoral figure within the charismatic movement. Why? And why did that same prophet start writing bizarre theology replete with Arthurian legends?

You want to know what I’ve learned about the real prophets out there? For the most part, they are nameless, faceless people who don’t keynote traveling prophetic roadshows, don’t have prophetic Web sites, don’t issue prophetic newsletters, and in almost every case, never go around telling people, “I’m a prophet!” (While I’m not into blanket discernment, I believe applying that reasoning–until proven otherwise by real prophets–will save most people a lifetime of heartache.)

I could go on and on about the sorry state of that part of the charismatic movement, but I’ll switch to another.

Charismatics love the Old Testament. I mean they quote liberally from the OT, often to the expense of the NT. And one of the biggest movements afoot is this whole idea of restoring Old Testament practices once used within Israel, New-Testament-izing them for use in the Church. Reformulating healing oils, attempting to raise up David’s tabernacle, recovering temple worship practices–the list goes on and on.

It doesn’t matter to them that Christ fulfilled all of what they’re attempting to resuscitate. In fact, it doesn’t matter that Christ rendered most of that stuff moot. The OT-resurrectors still want to do it. (Almost as if Christ didn’t do a good enough job fulfilling it. Ouch.)

I could go on and on about the sorry state of that part of the charismatic movement, but I’ll switch to another.

As for the prosperity gospel charismatic types out there, all I can say is this: Is anyone policing the affairs of these folks? I’m avoiding naming names here since that’s not what this blog is all about, but what’s with the excess made off the backs of poor, foolish souls who give money to these notable “ministers” and their “ministries”? And why is no one being held accountable? I understand a lot of these “ministers” don’t answer to any policing denomination, but they should still answer to the charismatics who are supporting them! (I’ll have more to say about that later.) That it took the government to step in and ask what the heck is going on with some of these ministries is shameful and shows the total lack of discernment by charismatics.

Before I go on, let me offer a few harsh insights on the sorry state of the charismatic movement today.

When charismatics chase after prophecy, chase after restoring OT practices, chase after prosperity, and chase after anything that isn’t Jesus, they’re chasing wind. And they’ll reap the whirlwind for it.

Worse, all this chasing after these fringes distracts them from what is most important to the Lord: leading people to Christ and growing them into mature disciples. Do any of us remember the Great Commission? Truthfully, this plagues nearly every church in America. We’re just cannibalizing each other’s congregations; we’re not growing.

For the first time in probably five years, someone handed me a tract last week. Now I’m not a huge fan of tract evangelism, but still. I can’t remember in the last 10 years when a stranger came up to me and asked me if I knew Jesus. That used to happen at least once a month when I was younger. Where are all the evangelists out there? What happened to leading people to Christ and discipling them to maturity?

Those of us charged with the duty got distracted by this and that. It’s amazing to me that the more charismatics want fresh revelation or a “touch from God,” the less interested they become in fulfilling the Great Commission. That’s a “word” none of us wishes to hear, though.

And as far as fresh revelation goes, whatever happened to the old revelation? A couple weeks ago, my pastor stood up in church, held a Bible high and said, “This is the only sure word.” And he’s right. Why then are so many charismatics obsessed with fresh revelation when they don’t even live by the old revelation? Many of them hardly know the old revelation at all. If they did, they wouldn’t be taken in by all these charlatans and hucksters masquerading as “ministers!”

Can you tell I’m sick at heart about this? These issues just frost me to no end!

Here is my plea to anyone out there who claims to be a charismatic. I hope you hear me. And if you’re not a charismatic, consider the problems in your own little sect and ask what specifics will better your group.

Boycott TBN.
Trinity Broadcasting Network has proven time and again it cannot police the people it features on its programming. In fact, the leaders of TBN will nod and weep along with the worst heresies known to man spoken by some of the biggest flakes and con-artists alive today. There, I said it.

Turn off TBN. Open up your Bible. Get down on your knees and repent. Ask God to open your eyes to the need in your little neighborhood. Use the money God has given you to help those people rather than line the pockets of TBN. Lead people to Christ (not to TBN) and disciple them. Do what Jesus commands you to do. But don’t send another dime to TBN. If it takes calling your cable or satellite channel and asking them to block TBN to keep you from watching it, please, do it.

Does TBN feature anything redeemable in its programming? Maybe. But the sheer load of junk that emanates from that network makes the signal to noise ratio infinitesimally small.

Start asking for accountability from these celebrity charismatic preachers.
This begins by cutting off the revenue stream. Nothing gets a person’s attention more than when the gravy train stops. Don’t send money to those ministries. Don’t buy the books of those ministers, their tapes, DVDs, Holy Land vacations, or anything associated with them. If they’re of God, God will provide for them. They may have less to live on, but they’ll be more more humble–we hope. (When we hear some diamond-encrusted “bishop” complaining how badly he needs his Rolls Royce, we should know just who the wolf among the sheep is.) Then start asking questions. Only then might the truth set us all free from the lies we’ve been fed.

Get out of the charismatic ghetto.
I said this before in my post “How Not to Be a Charismatic Headcase.” Time to see how Christians in other sects live. Somehow they manage to survive without fresh revelation. Much of that’s due to them relying on the leather-bound revelation they already have in their hands. Some of those other folks actually lead people to Christ and into a deep relationship with Him. It would be great to know how they do it, wouldn’t it?

Say no to fluff.
No conferences. No traveling prophetic roadshows. No arena-based revival events. Just say no. There’s no substitute for the old fashioned way of doing it right. The charismatic movement’s fascination with show and with “new moves of God” leads more often than not to a big fat nothing (see “Charismatic Churches and the Cult of the New“). We can’t bypass the simple spiritual disciplines and the simple commands of Christ.

Get the spiritual focus off everyone, ourselves included, and back onto Christ.
If I hear another charismatic tell about the spiritual thing they’re pursuing that’s NOT Jesus Christ, I’m going to scream. It is not about us and our needs. It’s about Jesus. The best way to seek first the Kingdom is to seek the King. And you’re not going to find that King except through the old tried and true methods. Not through fresh revelation, not through Christianizing Old Testament practices, not through praying that God will help you keep up with the Joneses, but through prayer, fasting, worship, Scripture reading & memorization, and the rest of the spiritual disciplines Christians have practiced since Pentecost.

Turn off the Christian TV. Turn off the Christian radio. Put down the book by this celebrity charismatic preacher or that. Stay away from the prophetic Web sites.

Instead, find out what the Lord says through the Bible. Don’t go looking for hidden revelation in the Bible for the time being, but stick to the obvious revelation that’s already there. Learn it. Memorize it. Live it. Pray it. And when you’re done praying it, pray some more. Do that and you just may find the Lord’s ready to charge you with His power from on high, taking you into ministry realms you never would’ve discovered otherwise.

Honestly, we charismatics should all be sickened by what’s going on. What sickens me most of all is that Christ is mocked when we act as ridiculous as some of us are acting. Mocked. And if we believe any of His Holy Spirit is going to bless us during mid-mock, then we’re the most deceived people on the face of the planet.